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It takes time to get to know another person. While, ultimately, whom we choose to love is a personal decision, chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo on a consistent basis gives us the wisdom to see our lives clearly.
First things first: In no way should we pressure ourselves with artificial timelines toward starting a relationship or getting married. The Buddhist philosopher Daisaku Ikeda, advises:
There is no need to rush into anything; you don’t need to be in a hurry. … If there is someone you like, what’s wrong with holding on to that feeling inside your heart for a while and resolving to polish yourself so that you can become the kind of person he or she, or anyone, would be proud to be with? Such a spirit of self-development is most admirable, I feel. Whether or not that person ever learns how you feel in your heart, with time those feelings will grow and mature like a fine wine.
Discussions on Youth, p. 70
Romantic relationships can help us more deeply reveal what is in our hearts and what we really want. Such relationships, as well as all our other relationships, are wonderful avenues for developing our character and becoming more considerate and appreciative in our interactions with others.
It isn’t the relationship itself but the growth we experience through a good relationship that makes us happy.
It isn’t the relationship itself but the growth we experience through a good relationship that makes us happy.
The type of growth being described here is the change occurring in the space between people. In other words, we “grow and mature like fine wine” through our interactions with others.
So, as long as you keep growing, whether that person is right for you will become clear.